Comedy Critique Gifts

'The footprints in the cheesecake were inconclusive, but my DNA was all over the peanut butter pie.'

"This one allows release of your information to a sitcom."

"So are we just not allowed to gag about certain things at all up here, Al?"

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics! (Published originally on February 9, 2013).

L'Artist

'Let's be frank. Perky isn't right for you.'

"IRS is getting really tough on tax avoiders"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Amateurs."

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

Non Thought For The Day.

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

A skip full of fools.

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

This action stuff is okay, but try a romance or comedy next time.

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

'Cohiba is written on here with a Sharpie.'

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

'I'm sorry, you just missed him. Call back in from 5 to 10 years.'

The day that William Tell bought his first crossbow.

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble