Cyber Security Survivor Gifts

Forgotten your password?

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

A Little Extra

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

'Mommy -- Jimmy just wrote his first computer virus!'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

'This Power Point slide has a dynamic layout comparing reading scores throughout the district, which you would have seen if I remembered to bring a spare projection bulb.

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

IT security.

'Miss Baxter, bring me another computer.'

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

Holding the Line Against Terrorists with Midrange IQs

'If a hacker steals all my information from my health records do they keep my health problems too?'

"This locket contains my very first username and password."

'Trust you, Filkins, to harp on the ONE TINY FLAW in the online global infrastructure.' (Technology dependent on electricty)

"I gotta log off, guys - I just encountered some malicious spyware."

"So you are the data protection supervisor of the German government?"

Here's the the Hackers

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

'Technology hasn't saved me any money. I'm now supporting those relatives of mine they replaced.'

"Rexie was just a click away from securing his owner a risk-free, high return investment, and a tummy rub for himself..."

"I'm beginning to think that coming up with a password that's never been used may be an unsolvable problem."