Cyber Matchmaker Pillows

"I'm internet dating. I'm looking for someone I can morph and tweak."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

cuPad

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

Today's love

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

'I think Benjamin like me. He linked my homepage to his homepage.'

Acme Dating Service

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Match maker

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Sidekick speed matching service.

Using a social media app to date

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"We met online, it was love at first site."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'