Cv Superstar Gifts

'We don't believe a word of this c.v... And we'd like to offer you a job.'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"I've outgrown my backpack."

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Bigger Brain

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"Gracie, I'm so proud that you made the academic decathlon team! Here...have some of my special green tea! Ithelps you concentrate and improves your memory!"

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

"We started learning about units of measurement in math class, but I don't really understand it, so I've got an acre of homework to do."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

Waiting for the results.

God hounded by the media.

'You're overqualified, and we under pay. It evens out. Welcome aboard, Barnes.'

I'm not worried about the economy. Me either! It's not like I'm going into banking, car manufacturing, or real estate. Totally! We'll still make the big bucks. May I ask doing what? Movie actress. Rock star. When you move to L.A., I'm not converting your bedroom.

"Yeah, you're the CFO of a global multinational, but to me you'll always be the First National Bank of Dad."

"I like you kid, but you're really just a work in progress!"

'We still have a few other people we'd like to interview before deciding on who will fill the position, Mr. Prescott.'

'If I'd known you were looking for someone without experience, I wouldn't have exaggerated my abilities.'

Open Mic Night

'About this cv of yours...' - 'You can skip over the part about the potty training.'

'No matter how often I do the show, I still suffer from stage fright...'