Volunteer Superstar Gifts

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

More people working in Voluntary sector than 2010.

'While they're still enthusiastic do you think we could get them to take on climate change and the war on drugs as well?'

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

The Waiter

Brownie Points

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

'We don't believe a word of this c.v... And we'd like to offer you a job.'

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

'Dad, have you ever thought about retiring and going in for volunteer work?'

"So nice of you to offer to display our posters" "I didn't. My pastor made me"

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

"I'm thinking of getting out of medicine completely… or volunteering in a third world country to do my liposuction."

Dog gets financial advice.

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'Onward to the 'Big Society'...I see a more caring, sharing, inclusive world, a world of 'community' of..'

"Wait a minute - these are just the Ten Commandments of great customer service."

"Apart from helping the community, making new friends, enjoying your experiences, supporting people in need, developing new skills, building a better community and having fun I can't see the point in volunteering!"

"And this dance represents our latest volunteer recruitment drive..." "I never thought I'd miss Powerpoint."

STRIP *Community Care * Skilled volunteer

"Looks like you get can't wait to get back to camp!"

"You're work might be free, but based on the quality, it's not pro bono."

"That's how the congregation looks when I ask for volunteers."

Ticking boxes on a checklist.

'When you've finished feeding your mum there's a triple by-pass in theatre we could use a hand with!'

Statistics Dept: 41% of people like the corner cafe, 30% like the diner across the street, 20% are unsure!

Maid

'We looked at a variety of options for allocating money to the Voluntary Agency...and letting them fight it out was by FAR the cheapest...'

The little engine that had a husband, kids, and a full-time job, and did everyone's emotional labor all the time."

'I have always supported your volunteering to help the needy, but a cash donation is an entirely different matter...'

It doesn't matter what you drive. There's a volunteering opportunity for everyone.