Cv Master Gifts

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

I love Basketball.

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

Run in the Family

"Yes, I suppose attention seeking may be considered by some as an asset, but frankly we need more than that."

"In your CV under 'experience' all you've written is 'YIPEE!'."

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

'We don't believe a word of this c.v... And we'd like to offer you a job.'

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

Welcome to Silicon Valley...the user friendly place.

'I took the liberty of digitally enhancing my resume to make a mountain out of a mole hill.'

Bureau of Red Tape

"Your resume says SOB, tell me more about that."

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

'You're overqualified, and we under pay. It evens out. Welcome aboard, Barnes.'

"O.K. final question: I'm thinking of a number between one and 100."

'A good idea, Fletcher? So was your last one. Which, I recall, brought us to the brink of bankruptcy!'

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

'No Jimmy! You can't cite Wikipedia as the main source for your assignment!'

'We still have a few other people we'd like to interview before deciding on who will fill the position, Mr. Prescott.'

'The only thing I don't like about playing solitaire on the computer is you can't peek under the cards.'

'One day we'll look back on all this, in a computer game.'

'If I'd known you were looking for someone without experience, I wouldn't have exaggerated my abilities.'

'Higher!'

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

Computer shows code violation to wierd user.

'Well, I am only human!' (Human Resources)

"My biggest strength would probably be my giant chicken legs."

'About this cv of yours...' - 'You can skip over the part about the potty training.'