Cv Master Gifts

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

I love Basketball.

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

Run in the Family

"In your CV under 'experience' all you've written is 'YIPEE!'."

"Yes, I suppose attention seeking may be considered by some as an asset, but frankly we need more than that."

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

'We don't believe a word of this c.v... And we'd like to offer you a job.'

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

Welcome to Silicon Valley...the user friendly place.

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

'I took the liberty of digitally enhancing my resume to make a mountain out of a mole hill.'

Bureau of Red Tape

"Your resume says SOB, tell me more about that."

'You're overqualified, and we under pay. It evens out. Welcome aboard, Barnes.'

'A good idea, Fletcher? So was your last one. Which, I recall, brought us to the brink of bankruptcy!'

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

"O.K. final question: I'm thinking of a number between one and 100."

'We still have a few other people we'd like to interview before deciding on who will fill the position, Mr. Prescott.'

'The only thing I don't like about playing solitaire on the computer is you can't peek under the cards.'

'If I'd known you were looking for someone without experience, I wouldn't have exaggerated my abilities.'

'One day we'll look back on all this, in a computer game.'

Computer shows code violation to wierd user.

"My biggest strength would probably be my giant chicken legs."

'About this cv of yours...' - 'You can skip over the part about the potty training.'

'Higher!'

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

'Well, I am only human!' (Human Resources)

The shining light of open-source software.