Cutthroat Campaigner Gifts

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

Save the unicorn.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

Palin 2012

Jerry Brown.

'Don't take this the wrong way but I'm thinking of calling someone in to manage our future corporate acquisitions.'

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

Tony Blair

'Remember when the worry was over little swift boat attacks?'

"Watch these old guys- you can learn a lot."

Advertising Agency - "...Fooling some of the people all of the time is damn hard work."

Save our seals - "I doubt my little vote will make any difference."

"The last thing that I intend to do is to stand here making a display of my patriotism."

"If reelected, this time, I promise not to procrastinate for four years and then try to get all my governing done in one epic all-nighter."

Stephen Harper on the attack ads.

Scott Walker keeps his job.

Trump holds 'Vote for Me!' sign at the bottom of the Statue of Liberty.

'The press is calling you overconfident. Stop using ‘Hail To The Chief' as your ringtone.'

"We all know the Senator's position regarding term limits."

Giant 'NO' with a small man holding a 'Yes',

'Not only have I never been a Congressman, but I've never even set foot in Washington!'

'Save the Whales' campaigner.

"No more fake news, alternative facts, or conspiracy theories. If elected, I promise to go back to old-fashioned lying!"

'The terms of my parole make it impossible for me to return to my seat in congress with known criminals.'

Daisy Bates and Harry Morant.

TRUMP

'Yes, I broke that campaign promise, but it was never NOTARIZED!'

You're suffering from pre-election fever brought on by competing promises.

"Dad has promised that if he becomes President, we'll get a dog."

Vote

'Well, I see that Senator Zwecklos has found a loophole in the Campaign Finance law.'