Cutback Survivalist Pillows

'Due to cutbacks on your insurance plan, your visits to Dr. Phil are no longer covered. You'll have to start seeing Physician's Assistant Phil.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

'Thank-you God.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

'Arf! Arf!'

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

Anti stress week: For God sake don't miss it!!

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

'I hear they're letting you go. Your family must have paid the ransom.'

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

Prepper Dog

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??