Customer Service Sentinel Gifts

"We are currently experiencing high call volumes..."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."