Customer Complaint Connoisseur Gifts

"Your issue should be simple to resolve. I'll just go and get someone less qualified to help you."

"Will this call be recorded? Maybe. And then again, maybe not. But you'll never know! Mwahahahahaha!"

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Bookworm Sleepover

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

In, Out, Complain.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Idle' Home Exhibition

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

"My kid could do that."

Complaints departement for men and women.

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

Second aid

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"They've got insulation to die for!"

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

"That's the Ommbudsman."

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"You're stealing the blanket."

"Don’t call the fire department — this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in years."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

The First Asshole

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'