Curriculum Connoisseur Pillows

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

Common Core Family Therapy

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

25¢ Ride the Pony

'Would the person who's inhaling the very life out of this meeting please stop it right now?'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer addict

Brighter days are ahead. I love it when I hear that in both news and weather segments of the program.

Somebody should really be filming this for YouTube.

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

Go on! Pick a card.

Snow White and the Seven Dorks.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Oh-oh- planned obsolescence!'

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

Due to obsessive and intrusive attention by the Media, this news conference will be cancelled

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

'Who are you and what do you want?'

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

"Don't rush me, I've got to get it right!"

Laptop/mousetrap.

"No, you don't get incentive pay for Billy Vincent."

'Quick - tell me something about yourself not on your resume that will snap you into focus.'

Social Media Strategy Session. The more friends and family people see on our site, the personal information they'll post. Familiarity breeds content!

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."