Current Events Jokers Pillows

"Ah, the Trump blimp is destroying the New York Times building. Must be Tuesday."

Photobooth Photobomb

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

Giggle.

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'Now, for the lighter side of the news'

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

Pinata Pranks

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

With gas prices soaring, many stations have begun posting EMS teams next to their pumps.

"This is called silent tennis? It's like regular tennis without the racket."

Four Seasons Total Landscaping

"The sky is falling - I just heard it from a very reliable source!"

Kim Jong Un Riding Nuclear Missile

'Well, they certainly caught you kipping!'

"I'm not ready for a big commitment. Could I just pal around with a sidewalk a little?"

Excerpts from the Comey memos

"... Yes. And I'm wearing a mask, so what's the problem?!"

'Ahmadinejad strikes me as the kind of man Jay Leno makes jokes about...'

"You'll have to chuck it back- it's Kylie Minnow."

Gift Suggestions for Post-Diamond Wedding Anniversaries

"I couldn't afford the gas for my car, so I robbed a bank but the police caught me because my car was out of gas."

'I think I'll walk to work today.'

"I hate my gym."

"You forgot again? How hard is it to pick up dryer sheets?"

Literal Following of Directions: RUN

Death Goes For A Jog

Dog with recurring nightmare.

'Will your stocks recover soon? How refreshing, sir - you still have a sense of humour.'

Learn Russian in 2 Weeks!

What Bush's Torture Memos Can Do For You

Trump's Flipflops on the Stormy Daniels Payout