Current Affairs Humorist Pillows

North Korea fires two missiles

"I couldn't afford the gas for my car, so I robbed a bank but the police caught me because my car was out of gas."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

They're Not Just That Into It

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"Who's got the hammer?"

No-Work Orange

Trump! The Musical

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, except for Hancock... who smells bad...'

2020 Swiss barmy knife

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Trump Will Protect Obama's Legacy

John F. Kennedy

"Beware of Don"

"Look! Other people. We'll have to develop a foreign policy!"

Uncle Donnie

Peter

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

"Possible exception to Prince William's proposed halt on space travel." proposed halt on space travel."

"I'm the worst president ever...the best!"

'This conspiracy theory nonsense MUST end. Any suggestions?'

'I couldn't get Parliament to outlaw Lady Godiva, but they agreed to regulate her.'

Steve Bannon Loves That Donald Trump Exists Outside Linear Time