Curious Conversationalist T-Shirts

"You've got a vow of silence? How interesting! Tell me all about that!"

"Roger might be just right for you. He plans his entire day around the wild thing, too."

"So long have you been with Better Homes and Gardens?"

"'Hackily's Syndrome'? But Dr. Grottmark said it was 'Grottmark's Syndrome'."

'Tell me about the birds, Forget about the bees,'

A bird and bee whose parents were afraid to talk to them about sex.

'I know about the birds, but what about the bees?'

'Walter, the 'Skeptical Enquirer' wants to talk to you.' 'Yeah, RIGHT!'

'I told him all about the birds and the bees but he keeps asking about invitro fertilization.'

"You won't believe this, but Smiley giggles and talks in her sleep."

"Minorities have it sooo easy. They show up at school, study hard, do all their work, and get good grades."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Crow and fox

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"