Clever Conversationalists T-Shirts

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

Why we need poetry. . .

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

Crow and fox

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

Jokes machine.

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

Snow is falling...

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

The Algonquin Round Table

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

Bat out of Hell

"So, what is your star sign?"

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

"I understand it all started when he ordered extra toppings on a pizza."

"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."