Curious Comparer Gifts

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

Computer: 'There are some things it is better not to know.'

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

"Then what happened?"

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "Nothing. I'm going into stem cell research."

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

Idle parts

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

'Can you debunk my essay?'

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

Alice's interest in photography grew, during her stay in Wonderland.

Plasma Ball

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

Young ladies ponder the relationship of a man with a young boy

"His father came from a family of climbers."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

"Yes, I'm sure that going to school isn't the same as eating from the Tree of Knowledge."

'It's called a telescope son. It's sort of like a low-tech search engine.'

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

Evolution or Creation? A Compromise

Sex Section in the Library

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

Kid to church leader: 'Is Heaven environmentally friendly?'