Condition Comparer Gifts

'Here's the problem!'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"His father came from a family of climbers."

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

"As far as form following function, it's a brilliant design for a business center."

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

"So how does New York stack up against Uzbekistan?"

'What I meditate on is we have rice and tea for lunch, and in the west they have burgers, fries and shakes.'

30th Birthday - Doctors aren't like policemen.. they don't grow younger, they just age faster.

Customer: 'Do you have anything for the same price that doesn't cost so much?'

Life is a Fare War

"No, don't worry about it, it definitely looks better on you."

What's the Difference between a Trump Rally and a Public School? Politics.

'Uh-oh, I think my saddle's on backward. . . No wait, I'm not wearing a saddle.'

#If every time I buy something, you tell me where I could've got it online cheaper...I'm taking that phone away!'

Memoirs

Dark cloud envy.

"Perfect! but it's cheaper online."

'I read the paper you gave at the Iceland Conference on my way to the Hawaii Conference.'

Window Shopping

'How do you like those?' - 'Great, I can see the same pair across the road for £5 less.'

My equity is bigger than yours.

"I've wasted valuable hours of my life comparing the comparison sites and comparing each site for comparison. . . and I've forgotten what I was comparing in the first place!!!"

'Our prices are drastically marked down from their drastic markup!'

"Your life must be very exciting."

'It's so cute when he he sits like that.'

"Such bargains on this side!"