Curfew Dodger T-Shirts

'And Rachel, if you're not back by midnight, this video of you taking a bath in our kitchen sink when you were 2 is getting posted on Youtube.'

'Sneaks into house late at night' Venn Diagram

Suddenly Kip hit an area not marked on his Creaky Board Floor Map. The curfew police would not be sympathetic.

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"Uh-oh...I better get home. My dad's gonna want a good explanation for being late."

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

Examinations.

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Waking Up With Rooster.

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"Maybe we need to re-visit our 'business casual' policy."

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

"No, Senator, I'm afraid stretching the truth doesn't count as yoga."

'Oh, Fred does exercise. He takes frequent walks to the refrigerator.'

Desk plaque: 'Seize the nap.'

What's the matter, Emily? Jeremy the jerk dumped me. I can't take it. My whole insides hurt. You'll be better off without him. Thanks, Twig. Youre lucky you didn't fall in love. Sigh. I wish I had a broken heart!

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

Inner Sara Skips Out As Zoom Kicks In

'Pemberly, I'd like to tweak you ignorance.'

"No, I'm not going to work. I sent my computer to work for me. The screen has a photo of my face, so people will think it's me."

'I'' be in the basement, Amy... below the radar.'

"Of course I don't want you to retire, boss! I'd probably get your job!"

'Looks like rain. I'm finishing for the day!'

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'

"I'm leaving early, before mission creep takes over."

'What a silly misunderstanding - you meant I should be home by ten-thirty P.M.?'

'How about a bike ride?' 'Nah, the seat hurts my butt, and I'd have to put air in the tires, and I'd have to put shorts on so my pant leg doesn't get caught and...' 'And you'd have to get up.' 'And I'd have to get up.'

"I could never. Too much pressure."