Curfew Challenger Gifts

'It's been rough at my house since my parents go on the same page about me.'

"It took me a long time to come up with an excuse for being late."

An outstanding high school pole vaulter, Kevin was never caught coming home late,

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'You have her home by midnight, now!'

Freedom of Speech

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

"I'm looking for loopholes."

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

'It's a government funded study to find out how many wrongs make a right.'

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

'This is a coffee break, Caldwell -- Get rid of that damn teapot!'

'I understand about strangers, but is it okay to take candy from Federal agents?'

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

"Boy, the sooner she realises the only authority I obey is the Bible, the better!"

"As board members, we need to speak with one voice, I'm suggesting Donald Duck."

And make sure my daughter is back by 10pm: You really don't want to see me angry!

"A fire-breathing dragon represents the conflict you have with the Lord of the Manor."

Know Know

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

'You're under arrest for disturbing the peace.'

The Power of the Pen

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

ASBOs

"For my birthday, my parents are giving me a driverless car that's always home by 10."

Redaction: The pen is mightier than the word

Boot shiner puts a smiley on a policemen's boot.

Boss: 'Speak up Smythe, I know you've got an opinion, I told you what it was in my email this morning!'