Curb Appeal Gifts

"Mulch madness"

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

An outstanding high school pole vaulter, Kevin was never caught coming home late,

The Anti-flat shampoo worked.

Join me in a beer?

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

'Maybe you shouldn't eat by your keyboard.'

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

"If things go well here, I'm going to open up my own firm."

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell

'Might as well get comfortable. The appeal process can take forever.'

'Your Honor, I'm here to make excuses for my client.'

"That M'lud, is the prosecutions case."

"Buses and 2 person carpools only"

Rational explanations

"The jury will disregard this witness' testimony as nothing but hearsay!"

'My client's defense is that the bank was an attractive nuisance.'

'Your first trial?'

"'Moors? I thought you said 'Ye Old Pour Me More Tavern'... Is that a new dress? Wait, why are there two of you? Okay, let's dance... Where's Dracula?'"

'I'll tell you what worries me -- What if they name a special prosecutor, and HE starts naming special prosecutors?'

'You won't be able to afford a top lawyer like me for very long. But, maybe just long enough to give your wife one heck of a scare.'

"Here comes a couple! Game face, girl! Game face!!"

'It depends on whether you see yourself as yesterday's man, today's man, or tomorrow's man.'

'And as a new client of our law firm, you get this nifty neck brace to wear in court.'

"We find curb appeal very important."

Automatic Arbitration

Lawyers - He defends widows and orphans, unless he is attacking widows and orphans

'I said, order in the court!'

Barrister attacking a policemen

'To be fair, I didn't say I was good, I said I was expensive.'