Curb Appeal T-Shirts

"Mulch madness"

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

The Anti-flat shampoo worked.

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

Join me in a beer?

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

'Maybe you shouldn't eat by your keyboard.'

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

Barristers wearing clothes pegs to overcome a bad smell

"If things go well here, I'm going to open up my own firm."

'Might as well get comfortable. The appeal process can take forever.'

'Your Honor, I'm here to make excuses for my client.'

"Buses and 2 person carpools only"

"The jury will disregard this witness' testimony as nothing but hearsay!"

"That M'lud, is the prosecutions case."

Rational explanations

'My client's defense is that the bank was an attractive nuisance.'

'Your first trial?'

"Here comes a couple! Game face, girl! Game face!!"

'I'll tell you what worries me -- What if they name a special prosecutor, and HE starts naming special prosecutors?'

"'Moors? I thought you said 'Ye Old Pour Me More Tavern'... Is that a new dress? Wait, why are there two of you? Okay, let's dance... Where's Dracula?'"

'You won't be able to afford a top lawyer like me for very long. But, maybe just long enough to give your wife one heck of a scare.'

'It depends on whether you see yourself as yesterday's man, today's man, or tomorrow's man.'

'And as a new client of our law firm, you get this nifty neck brace to wear in court.'

"We find curb appeal very important."

Automatic Arbitration

'To be fair, I didn't say I was good, I said I was expensive.'

'I said, order in the court!'

Barrister attacking a policemen

Lawyers - He defends widows and orphans, unless he is attacking widows and orphans

"The menu used to be á la carte. Now it's á la food truck."