Culinary Theatre Fans Gifts

"All the world’s a stage, and we merely the actors/waiters."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"Then add one extra large egg..."

The mission: Impossible burger.

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

A tureen of chefs

Now we know --- It's good for making toast, not good for heating up meatloaf!

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

"That's two tossed salads, one egg drop soup, and one pulled pork."

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

Road Kill Cafe.

"Ooops...well, at least you now can see that there are a lot of fresh mushrooms in our soup!"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"1 pinch of salt, 3 pinches of baking soda...oh dear, a cup of flour? How many pinches is that?"

"Your father dressed you, didn't he?"

Cafe offers corn several ways.

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

'We need more cake shows!'

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

"Potatoes too salty? Look, buster ??" I told you to enjoy your meal!"

"Freshly ground pepper, sir?"

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

"With this table monitor, you can watch the chefs prepare your meal. Look, another slice of frozen lasagna being microwaved."

Cedric instantly regretted 'pumping up the jam...'