Culinary Snarkers Gifts

"My compliments to yhe liquidator - that was terrible."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"States of tofu"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

Culinary surgery.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

'Hard or soft science?'

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

Fooling around with those genes...just keeps going.

"And it shall be called peanut butter. And it shall appear as if perishable or in need of refrigeration but in truth it shall remain shelf-stable for months, though the oil may separate and require stirring. And there shall be a crunchy variety and there shall be a smooth variety. And . . ."

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

Modern Foraging Techniques...

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

Artificial Isle

If Einstein had worked in Fast Food

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"