Cereal Snarker Gifts

"The Breakfast of Politicians. Low in character and moral fiber."

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

'Is this the new product?' - 'Yes, a rocket filled with cornflakes.'

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

One Thing is Free

"'Superman legacy' was awful. Just awful!"

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

'Waiter, this salad is obnoxious!' 'But, sir — you asked for French dressing!'

Cow Cow Plops.

The First Art Critic

You're late!

'I hope we have the spelling test early, while I'm still under the influence of my alphabet cereal.'

'Where did you get the idea that crackers are a minimum daily requirement?'

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

'You know, I wouldn't mind all this fiber if I could smoke it.'

More Ideas for Term Limits

'One cliff is as good as another.'

'Don't kid yourself. If you're too ugly to be cooked, they'll grind you up into one of those fish protein concentrates.'

Burger Discus

"My compliments to yhe liquidator - that was terrible."

I can't find the artisanal Pop-Tarts.

"Batman v Superman" was just awful. Just AWFUL! Wait

"How to Look, Feel & Sound like Shit"

'Well I think we've nearly broken the back of this 'risk assessment'.'

"And the winner of the second clapper board electrician's assistant is..."

"My compliments to your chefs - their broth was disgusting."

'Maybe I give off a little ammonia, but at least I don't smell like people!'

"I just don't have it in me today..." "Well, aren't you the lucky one."

"Mr. Peanut is dead at the age of 104."

More mice crispies, please, Mum.

"I really prefer the place across the street. The cockroaches are smaller."

'These childproof vials! I CAN'T GET MY TRANQUILIZERS OPEN!!'