Cereal Snarker Gifts

"The Breakfast of Politicians. Low in character and moral fiber."

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

"'Superman legacy' was awful. Just awful!"

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

'Waiter, this salad is obnoxious!' 'But, sir — you asked for French dressing!'

Cow Cow Plops.

You're late!

'I hope we have the spelling test early, while I'm still under the influence of my alphabet cereal.'

'Where did you get the idea that crackers are a minimum daily requirement?'

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

'You know, I wouldn't mind all this fiber if I could smoke it.'

'One cliff is as good as another.'

'Don't kid yourself. If you're too ugly to be cooked, they'll grind you up into one of those fish protein concentrates.'

Burger Discus

"My compliments to yhe liquidator - that was terrible."

"How to Look, Feel & Sound like Shit"

'Well I think we've nearly broken the back of this 'risk assessment'.'

"My compliments to your chefs - their broth was disgusting."

'Maybe I give off a little ammonia, but at least I don't smell like people!'

"I just don't have it in me today..." "Well, aren't you the lucky one."

More mice crispies, please, Mum.

"I really prefer the place across the street. The cockroaches are smaller."

'These childproof vials! I CAN'T GET MY TRANQUILIZERS OPEN!!'