Culinary Mafioso T-Shirts

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Quartet of chefs.

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

Spatula Conductor

"Waiter!"

Lobster a la Riseholme!

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

"Sure we could just print out the specials, but the chef doesn't want to leave a paper trail."

"Mr. Boyd, are you charged with stealing from Bob's bakery. How do you plead?"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"After you read the menu, eat it."

Salad Bowl Drum

"Of course there will be enough dinner for you Mother."

"Maybe it's time to go through that mail, huh, Godfather?"

'I hope you don't mind sleeping with the fishes, Mister Scarponi?'

Ingredients for a successful family dinner

'The Raffia Mafia.'

Pianist with Knife and Fork.

'She's just seeing if the alphabetti spaghetti's ready.'

'Take no notice, I fired him ten minutes ago.'

'Sign this non-disclosure agreement ? I'm going to use a secret recipe.'

Thanksgiving Dinner Highlights

"My mom really works at keeping my lunches interesting!"

"I'll be your maitre D# this evening."

Observe, Prepare, Act

"It would be cool if we cooked up a couple of these at your place where nobody could see us."

"Of course I got rid of the body. Don't you follow me on Twitter?"

'And make it look like an accident.'

'Congratulations, Louigi. You're going to be a made man!'