Culinary Introvert T-Shirts

"I'll have the lonely bastard platter for one please!"

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

The Origins of Everything

Lockdown casserole

Man sitting and reading 'Joy of Take Out' book surrounded by take out boxes.

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

Thanksgiving Game Highlights

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

At the Lobster Mill, every night is an open casket.

'A sandwich?'

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

"The recipe? Well, there's lentils, garlic, tofu, and a pinch of our illegal secret ingredient."

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

Eating raw cake mix.

"Sure, pal, whatever you say. Ha ha! The salmon is fresh."

'Try the fish. It's brain food.'

'So this is a kitchen!'

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

"Is this from the community garden? It tastes sanctimonious."