Culinary Improvisationalist T-Shirts

"well if you can do better with a tin of apricot halves, a can of sardines, and a jar of peanut butter I'm all ears!"

Tartine

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

Ice Cream Surgeon

The wonderful world of cheese.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Chez Nous Menu

Pi Ala Mode.

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Wok. Don't Wok.

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

Children's Feast.

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Filet minion

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

His New Grillfriend

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

A Day In The Kitchen

Party time.

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

I love Cannelloni