Culinary Influencer T-Shirts

"Oh, look! For an extra $10 they'll have a professional take a social media suitable photo for our meal."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Canape?

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

Lockdown casserole

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

In the DNA Kitchen

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

You're the icing on my cupcake!

Sweet surprise.

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"Fresh pepper?"

'Propane ran out.'

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

Fermeture des restaurants: la résistance s'organise

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

Cook asking for her vinaigrette after recieving an offer from the dustman

'You're a bright young kid...but you gotta understand, no new ideas when the bread is only half baked!!'