Culinary Humor Seeker Pillows

"What am I, chopped liver?"

'This evening's specials include 72-month financing on the filet mignon.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'The Burrito King.'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

A Club Sandwitch.

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"