Culinary Escape Pillows

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"Fresh pepper?"

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Man's cooking explodes.

All-Day Breakfast

The Velvet Mesquite

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

Fish flipping flapjack in pan. Title: 'Ed was glad he'd caught a panfish.'

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

Chef De Party.

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Sushi Train Spotters

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

'All our family's creativity is channelled into finding ways to gain weight.

'All the kings horses and all the king's men? No, I'm calling my cousin Louie, he owns a restaurant!'

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

Never use a cookbook written by a mystery book author. You never know how things will turn out!