Culinary Escapist Pillows

"Not now—I'm cooking to avoid intimacy."

'We'll have to eat out tonight - I washed the dishes today, and I can't do a thing with them.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

What the Doctor Ordered

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"You do like octopus?"

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

La Table

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"Rump roast?"

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Bermuda Triangles

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

A resourceful girl, Cynthia hoped to get credit in both Earth Sciences and Culinary Arts with her ozone layer cake.

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

The discovery of asparagus.

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'