Culinary Critic In Disguise Pillows

'Could you give me a fresher sandwich? -- I'm allergic to penicillin.'

"I knew something was wrong when you didn't complain about my cooking."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

View to the Future

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"Is the MSG local?"

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Too much cilantro

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Countervailing Clichés.

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"How do you know you don't like New York if you've never even tasted it?"

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"