Culinary Critique Artist Pillows

"The taste was fine, but the presentation only got me 5 likes."

Tartine

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Pi Ala Mode.

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

Children's Feast.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

View to the Future

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Wok. Don't Wok.

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Too much cilantro

Filet minion

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'