Culinary Critique Appreciator Pillows

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

View to the Future

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Too much cilantro

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Is the MSG local?"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Countervailing Clichés.

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Happy hour.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."