Culinary Critic In Disguise Gifts

'Could you give me a fresher sandwich? -- I'm allergic to penicillin.'

"I knew something was wrong when you didn't complain about my cooking."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

View to the Future

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Too much cilantro

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Is the MSG local?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Countervailing Clichés.

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

Happy hour.

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"