Culinary Courtroom Aficionado T-Shirts

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"Impartiality becomes you."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

RBG, RGB, CMYK

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Let's agree to disagree.'

Counsel's Opinion.

Criminal Stupidness

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"Let's take in a trial."

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'