Culinary Courtroom Aficionado Gifts

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

"Impartiality becomes you."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

Counsel's Opinion.

Criminal Stupidness

"Let's take in a trial."

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, on the basis of a previously undiagnosed and untreated case of Integrity Deficit Disorder!"

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'