Culinary Court Jester T-Shirts

"Judge Edelman is taking the chicken livers under advisement, Gertrude; I've decided in favor of the veal; and Judge Hefferman seems to be recusing himself."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Husband bakes a pie

"I say we move on to dessert."

Basketball.

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"Gigot de sept heures."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

Justice 4 Ron

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

"Another slander suit!"

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'He's all eyes!'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

"More helium."

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'