Court Jester T-Shirts

"Those are attorney bees. They represent the killer bees."

'What? You said court-appropriate attire!'

"Insurance, anyone?"

'Someone should fix that,'

'Not to worry, I've handled hundreds of cases like this and the way I see it, I'm bound to win one sooner or later.'

Bad Knees.

'I need a continuance, your Honor.'

"Oh, no, it's not a problem at home. We need help with communication on the court."

'Nurse, turn the basketball game up. This is a painful procedure, so I don't want to miss the game due to the patient's screaming.'

Tennis Player Receives Unwanted Advice on the Tennis Court of Public Opinion.

'You were there. Why wouldn't the jury think you were involved? Isn't it true, monkey see monkey do?'

'Hey, I'm no orthopaedic surgeon - know what I'm sayin'? But this can't be good.'

Brandon didn't talk trash like all the other players.

'We should have asserted control early on. They've been jawing at each other all game long. It was bound to turn violent.'

'The swelling well receed in a few days and the racket should slide right off.'

'I hardly think a congregation of carol-singers amounts to riotous assembly'

Crash Test Dummy Waiting Outside Traffic Court

'It's not doubles. That's his agent back there.'

"You can't take a solo after every serve."

"O.K.m who overinflated the ball?"

'This is Bob. He's really short, but he's got quick hands, watch.'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'You want a court-appointed attorney? Sure! -- My brother-in-law is looking for work.'

'Of course not, my dear -- I'm sober as a judge!'

'Did you win your squash game?'

"I say we move on to dessert."

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

'You're right, I never liked that racked either!'

'Let's go home, coach. If God was going to intervene with a miracle and change the final score to save your job, it would have happened by now.'

'Believe me, I have plenty of experience with cases like yours.'

'What are the chances? I mean, all 10 players simultaneously dive for a loose ball and conk heads?'

'Aaaaah! The game momentum just shifted!'

'Major confession, Sid. Ready for this? If I didn't know it was you standing three feet away, you'd be nothing more than a blur...'

'You've been charged with racketeering. How do you plead?'

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"