Culinary Confessor T-Shirts

Chef's Confession

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Tension filled the tent.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Full English Breakfast.

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

The ecumenical dinner party.

this bordeaux speaks for itself

Am Awful Crammer.

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

Slow food restaurant

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"I want to set the world record for eating the most empanadas ever!"

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'