Culinary Conductor T-Shirts

Quartet of Chefs

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Come dine with me!

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

The Origins of Everything

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

Kiss the Commander in Chef

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

'It's all homemade.'

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

Cooking with Pierre

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

Old Spice

Al Dante

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

Cheese Secret