Culinary Culturist T-Shirts

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Tartine

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

Ice Cream Surgeon

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

The wonderful world of cheese.

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Soup of the month.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Pi Ala Mode.

Wok. Don't Wok.

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Children's Feast.

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Filet minion

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'The Burrito King.'