Culinary Curator T-Shirts

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

'Care to form a splinter group?'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Misunderstood artist

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

Convenience.

Kiddies Menu for Witches

The Rise of Modern Art

Frederic Auguste Bartholdi

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

Redecorating Easter Island.

"It's Chicken Mole!"

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

"Still-Life of New Mexican Grilled Quail with Cilantro and Fennel-Flecked Confit."

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

Closed for Renovation

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

"Hmmm...I wonder what the artist is trying to say...?"

'Well, it's about time!'

"He painted 300 pictures in his lifetime. 1000 of which are in England."