Culinary Clown Gifts

'Too much hazel, not enough nut.'

Escaping Egg

"What smells so good? -- I'm not cooking for you, but for my dog."

Slow Roast Yoga

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"How many times? It's not the neighbours' dog growling, it's your intestines!"

'I'm making milk shakes for everyone!'

'I asked you if you wanted to lick the bowl....not the bull.'

Mixing Business and Pleasure

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

'Table 6 wants a glass of sangria, with chips--do you think that's enough?'

"Voila!! For the Lady, Seafood Linguine, and I believe Sir ordered the Chef's Surprise?"

'Good afternoon-I'm with the city. They've hired me to make spot food checks!'

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

'Filet mignon, poached salmon, beef Wellington! See! TRICKLE DOWN does work!'

Ernie aims to please but he's a terrible marksman!

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

"More helium."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

Night of the Latkes

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'The Burrito King.'

How are you at decision making?

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up