Culinary Catastrophes T-Shirts

'I'd say he's tried Mrs Beeton's Recipe for a disaster.'

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

"I think I've had this nightmare before."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

"My dad ate my homework."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"I followed the recipe and this is where it led me."

"Could Doctor see him now-I have the dinner to cook."

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

Smoke gets in your eyes.

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

'What d'you mean,Doris-you,ve burnt OUR dinner,and hers NEXT door,and hers NEXT door again and...?'

Sandwich Fail

Smelly fish.

"Okay, let's eat."

Murphy's Slaw.

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'

'Let's sit in front of the fire.'

'No, we can't pass it off as 'blackened' goulash!'

"Think of it as cajun blackened oatmeal."

'Of course I've burnt your dinner. You're in hell!'