Culinary Calamity Dealer T-Shirts

'Get your priorities right, Graham! Book the restaurant AFTER you've called the fire brigade!'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Is that pancake ready yet?

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Roasted

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Bake off: Flan B

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Sandwich Fail

"Okay, let's eat."

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

'Let's sit in front of the fire.'

'No, we can't pass it off as 'blackened' goulash!'