Cuisine Comedy Fan Gifts

Recipe Cards, How to make Pastor salad.

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Night of the Latkes

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

Cook and her Maids

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"It'll never be ready in time."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

"That's two tossed salads, one egg drop soup, and one pulled pork."

Now we know --- It's good for making toast, not good for heating up meatloaf!

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

"Your father dressed you, didn't he?"

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

'We need more cake shows!'

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"