Cuisine Comedy Fan Gifts

Recipe Cards, How to make Pastor salad.

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Night of the Latkes

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Cook and her Maids

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"It'll never be ready in time."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

'We need more cake shows!'

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

"1 pinch of salt, 3 pinches of baking soda...oh dear, a cup of flour? How many pinches is that?"