Cubicle Spender Gifts

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"At this office no two days are different."

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Another day at work would be one too many...

Office slaves.

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

Inout baskets.

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

Computer monitor for a head.

Work Slave

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

It's a dogs life

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

Desk sign reads: Tom Bagley's Outer Shell.

Office Weather

Working 9 to 5.

"O.K., if you put it that way."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"