Cubicle Grouch Gifts

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

Overworked in the office

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Another day at work would be one too many...

Office slaves.

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Inout baskets.

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

Work Slave

Computer monitor for a head.

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

It's a dogs life

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'