Cryptography Gifts

'The good news, Dave, is that the computer's passed the Turing test. The bad news is that you've failed.'

'I've cracked it! It's all in German!'

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

"No, my memo isn't encrypted...the spell check broke."

"Try S instead of L."

Cryptologists Anonymous

'We're in trouble. I've negotiated with a poker face, but never with an encrypted face!'

'Well, YOU call it bad penmanship, I call it encryption.'

M16 Code-breakers office

"Either the terrorists really are planning a massive Orang-Utan disco onslaught or we haven't cracked the code as comprehensively as we thought."

Alan Turing

"Ed's job description has changed. He used to be a code-cracker. Now he's an encryption-disabler."

"All I get is the first line: 'You'll never break this code'."

"Are you two trying to play the imitation game?"

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

'Finley's working on the tax code.'

Cryptography.

Celebrity anagram: I'm a merry bachelor (Answer: Michael Barrymore)

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'We adders cypher for all snakekind.'

"The password is XJF-dkg-0$2-3#q-qq2..."

(Martian pictographs.) Evidently, they haven't been back here in quite some time!

Search for Rare Bitcoin

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"I warned him not to keep his bitcoins under the mattress."

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"So I misplaced a couple hundred Bitcoin. Maybe the dog ate the wallet. I din't know. S**t happens!"

My First Bitcoin.

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

'These bitcoins things are backed by technology and the internet! What could possibly go wrong?'

"This is Pete, our cryptocurrency expert."

'Here comes the new kid.'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"